Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
