Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low