Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?