i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
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This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....