I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
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i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
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So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.