the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
