you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
