I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
