"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
