I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Buhtt sex?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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