I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
