Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
