I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
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