butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
