I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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