Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
it glows. i had to have it.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize