am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
