bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
She said her name was "party"
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
