happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
