Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
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