wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
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She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
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Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms