Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
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