hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead