I heard we made out
i just wanna soil my oats bro
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
