Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
