I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
