not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
