There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
