I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
