I don't remember. Are we still dating?
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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