my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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