I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
