I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
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