we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
