Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
