He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
it was like eating out sand paper
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
