She's JV to your varsity
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize