Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
