I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
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