you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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