it was like eating out sand paper
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..