I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder