i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
i don't wanna talk about it
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?