I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
