yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
