you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
