Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
