shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
