which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize