HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
