while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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