come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
