Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
