No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
