margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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