I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Someone shattered a urinal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize