on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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