i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Dick very happy bro
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
