He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
