hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
