She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
