morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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