pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
