It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
So much rum. So many feels.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
