I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
