Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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